
Dear Readers, I am always amazed by the persistence of spiders. It’s the end of July, and so they’re just getting big enough to notice. This one is on the inside of my kitchen door. The inside! That’s not going to work too well from the spider’s point of view. There are surely more tiny insects outside the kitchen than in it, in spite of my less-than-perfect hygiene.

I actually noticed her yesterday (and I always assume spiders are female unless they are sporting those attractive boxing-glove pedipalps that the males wear). I had a whole conversation with her, as I tried to gently catch her and put her outside.
“You’re not supposed to be in here”, I say. ” What are you doing in the kitchen?”
My husband shouts down from upstairs to ask who I’m talking to. From previous experience, he knows it could be:
- a neighbour’s cat
- a fox trying to muscle its way in
- an ant
- a frog
- a slug
Fortunately it has never (so far) been a burglar, or indeed any other human being.
“I’m trying to persuade this spider to go outside”, I shout.
Silence, but I can sense the most delicate of eye-rolls.
The spider folds her legs and drops to the doormat, where she is invisible amongst all that coir.
And today, she’s back, with a perfect web across the door panel. Not that you can see it, so she looks as if she’s floating in mid-air, like some kind of arachnid angel.

So, Readers, I may try to move her again, or I may leave her and see what happens. When the world seems to be going to hell in the proverbial hand basket, sometimes I find myself laser-focussed on some small ethical dilemma, because there is so much horror, and so little that I can do about most of it. And most people, I’m sure, have bigger things to worry about, and who’s to say that they’re wrong? But I’m going to carry on talking to spiders, and considering what I can do to help them to survive, and if I get a reputation as a bit daft I shall wear that badge with pride.
But I am curious. Will anyone else own up to talking to spiders, or houseplants, or other living things that I’m sure have never replied? Do share! It would be a great thing if there are more of us out there…..
In our home we have spiders and geckos: I often pass a comment their way but generally let them be.
So very lovely to read this, dear Bugwoman! I’m greatly heartened not to be alone and to share your whole philosophy here. I talk to everything too – spiders, slugs, worms, beetles, wasps… every living thing, I suppose. Asking them what they’re doing, or telling them what I’m about to do if it’s something like scooping a tired bee from the path on a leaf or helping a ladybird get out of the birdbath. I hope there are plenty more of us out there!
So glad I’m not alone in talking to the plants and animals! I think there are lots of us about….
Yes I’m a talker. I was terrified of spiders moths bees and wasps as a child, and talking to them helped to calm me down. Now I just like to be polite.
Yes! It’s important to be polite and respectful. And hospitable!
Thank you for sharing…
I talk to plants, animals, insects, all the time.
It is rather accepted here (people joke about it but they do it) that talking to houseplants(and all plants) helps them grow. My mother did it and it worked.
Talking (like music) creates vibrations, it also changes our body language and makes us care more.
Here’s a link to some scientific approach about plants and music.
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/377442630
_A_Novel_Approach_to_S…
Very interesting, Claire, thank you!
These days I talk to almost anything, the pigeons that live in our garden, blackbirds and any other feathered neighbours, plus bees (friendly and admiring) and wasps (‘Please go somewhere else,’ or ‘Out!’. In the case of the pigeons, they were born and bred in the garden, so we have been part of their lives all along and they seem pretty tolerant of our presence.
Regarding spiders, 11 years ago there were a lot in the garden and they would start moving indoors in September. They set up house in where walls meet ceilings in most rooms and particularly the kitchen, probably on account of the warmth. Over the past 10 years the numbers in the garden have fallen (bad news), and fewer come indoors (good news).
Spider numbers seem to be a bit up and down, don’t they – I guess they’re very dependent on having insects to eat, and I feel as if this year has been relatively good, while last year was hopeless…
I talk toour dog all the time, especially when out on a walk. I ask him questions, though I never get hear what the answer is. I’d love to know whathe’s thinking!
Bugwoman, a tender endearing tale. Do you remember Talila, Avi’s wife, at Ape Action Africa? She’s so sensitive to living things that once, while at her home one evening, she called us out onto the patio to see the “snail party” she’d hosted (she discovered that they really liked cat food kibbles, and she’d laid out a feast for them on the stones).