Dear Readers, I often love the ‘Quote of the Day’ displayed at East Finchley station, but I was stopped in my tracks by this one: it’s my 25th wedding anniversary in a few weeks, so no wonder my thoughts are often turning to what love means, and what home means, and the intersection between the two. For me, ‘home’ is a feeling comprised not just of a location, but of all the people who make that place a home – the local friends, the people who come to visit, the shopkeepers and the road cleaner and the bus drivers, the people who pour our coffee, and the restaurant where I’ll be celebrating my BSc later today (quick shout out for Table du Marché if any East Finchleyites haven’t discovered it yet).
But having someone who has your back, even when you’re being ridiculous, someone who thinks you’re wonderful even when you’re laying on the sofa with a broken leg, well, that’s a special kind of home. It took me until I was nearly forty to find my soulmate – I am a bit envious of people who married their childhood sweetheart, but then again some people never find the person who is right for them. I never forget how lucky I am, in so many ways, but especially in this. I think I’d given up on the idea of finding someone to make my life complete, and had instead decided that I was perfectly fine as I was. And maybe you have to reach that point so that the person you team up with adds synchronicity, so that you are cheerleaders for one another’s wildest dreams and ambitions. And so the other person is ‘home’, the ground from which you go out and have adventures, the safe harbour that you come back to. Nothing is forever in this life, but I count myself fortunate to have known this feeling.
And walking back along East Finchley High Road from the station, I thought how lucky we were to have the London Plane trees lining the route, bringing down the temperature and shading us as we walk up the hill. So many people were sitting on the wall having a sandwich or a drink under their cool green branches. I often give the tree trunks a pat as I go past, just to show the trees that I appreciate them. It feels like the least I can do.
A wonderful post! I will have been married for 53 years come November and agree fully with the feelings you express so clearly!
I seem to remember from what you’ve written before that your wedding anniversary is around the same time as mine – it will be my 28th anniversary next month. We now live near the church where we got married, and yesterday it was the venue for the village horticultural show, which has been taking place every year for well over a century. The church was packed with produce and paintings and photographs and much more, all grown or created with love and pride.
You’re not the only one who pats tree trunks. After the show, I walked back through the woods and touched my three favourite trees – two horse chestnuts and a beech – and told them how much I appreciate them. They’re all looking very healthy, but I don’t think I can claim any credit for that!